February 5, 2020

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Chaos Will Consume All

I hope you’re ready for another absurd brew from yours truly. Golos, Tireless Pilgrim is a commander deck often looked to for sweet value or jamming five colour good stuff. Today let’s look at something on the more absurd side of design and take advantage of our commander to manipulate the board state in some of the most confusing ways (while also on a mostly tight budget).

Chaos Consumes All

Commander: (1)
Creatures (6)
Planeswalkers (1)
Spells (19)
Artifacts (18)
Enchantments (16)
Lands (37)

Chaos Incarnate

Now in this deck, there are simply two categories of cards: Those that ramp us into our chaos spells, and the chaos spells themselves. The ramp part is self-evident but the chaos aspect of the deck is where things get interesting. Let’s go over some of the chaos choices.

Resetting the Board

If you’d prefer, The Great Aurora is also a great option for these slots! The idea of these cards is just to reset the board or send the board into complete disarray. None of these cards are hard locks but meant to destroy the board state and cause plays that one wouldn’t normally have to see in their decks. To recover from this is often too much for many decks to do.

The Narset Lock

Leovold Emissary of Trest? Do I hear you calling from the ban list? Are you unjustly locked up in there for the mistakes of others? What better way to keep your opponents from doing just about anything than to prevent them from drawing cards? Keep your opponents locked out of the game and just keep adding to the chaos for the real win-con of this deck, all of your opponents conceding!

An Innocent Game

Gobline Game is always a controversial inclusion in paper magic. The best way to resolve this card is through paper and pen. Each player secretly writes down their chosen number and then all players reveal their answer at the same time. Keeps everyone’s belongings safe and the card less confusing to resolve. This card is in the deck due to the absurdity of most players trying to figure out how to not lose to it. It’s a relatively simple card but the element of chaos it offers in the late game can be quite entertaining.

Sharing is Caring

Shared Fate is one of the only win conditions in the deck. Having the ability to play your opponent's best cards is great because let’s be real, your cards suck. At least we have access to all five colours of mana! One of the many ways to cause copious amounts of confusion and disarray. Along with Shared Fate, we have other cards like Hive Mind and Eye of the Storm. Winning with your own cards is boring and I’d rather win with my opponent's cards. It’s not fair they get to play all the cool instants and sorceries. I also want access to good cards like Brainstorm or Demonic Tutor

Slow Things Down

Each of these cards is here to just halt board progression while you play all of your tapped lands. Using cards like Possibility Storm, Perplexing Chimera, and Puca's Mischief help keep the board in shambles. Being able to prevent opponents from creating a presence or targeting you helps the deck make it to the late game. 

How to Actually Win

The only other way to really win the game other than winning with your opponent's cards: Maze's End. A very loose and inconsistent win-con that will often just lose to some sort of land destruction. This list assumes it’s relatively safe but if your meta is filled with Wasteland, Strip Mine and Ghost Quarter players, just add in a Life from the Loam or Crucible of Worlds. Either one will help with your consistency and ability to actually close out games.

Definitely not a deck for everyone. It’s ridiculous, barely functional and definitely for those of us who just want to watch the world burn. Full of uncommon effects in the format and counterintuitive plays or cards that require far too much mana to normally be effective. Having Solemn Simulacrum in your command zone that can net you multiple free spells a turn is the only reason this deck is able to work. 

I hope you enjoy the strange nature of this deck! Let me know what you think of the list. What’s your favourite chaos spell or commander in the format?